Wandering the face of the earth
Wondering what our dreams might be worth
Learning that we’re only immortal
For a limited time.
-Dreamline by Rush
It was 4 days before my 12th birthday. I had asked for two sandwiches with my lunch instead of one only a week or so prior. I remember coming back from dance class that night and feeling tired. I remember how heavy my body felt as I got out of the car and went to head inside and upstairs to my bedroom. I remember my mom grabbing my arm and guiding me to the kitchen instead.
I remember her telling my brother to get his meter.
The realization of what she wanted to do hit me like a freight train. “No… No!” I struggled but she managed to check my blood glucose. The numbers counted down… I was over 300 mg/dL. I started crying.
In the car ride to the hospital, my mother tried to reassure me that everything would be okay. I stared out the window, my arms crossed, thinking. Thinking that my body is broken. Thinking that I will die young. Thinking that Diabetes will kill me.
I felt my mortality that day. I’ve lived every day feeling it since. It certainly gives you perspective.
This year marks 14 years with Type-1 Diabetes for me. I’ve struggled a lot with this disease. There have been highs and lows, both literally and figuratively. I’ve dealt with a lot. The struggle has made me stronger, wiser, and more understanding. I’m proud of who I am and how I have been shaped.